“How do I get over my fear that “I’m running out of time”?”

Received my first question! Let’s fucking get to it mate. Well, I got a ton of questions, it was well exciting. But the one above is what I’ve picked.

This person sent me a pretty large email, and that was the overall question. But here’s some other quotes from them, just for context on their situation;

“I’m only 19 and there’s so many things that I’m DESPERATE to do. But I just don’t feel like I have the resources to do it. And I don’t want to reach these achievements when I consider myself too old to have them (25).”

“There’s so many things I want to do so badly.”

Wow, yeah, I feel you mate. That’s a tough place to be in. Fortunately, you are not alone.
We all have dreams and we all feel like they’re running away from us, especially at this age.

Whether that’s a dream of a family, partner, love, friendship, physicality, mentality, status, career, environment, skillset, talents, work ethic… we’ve all got our own.

I don’t think you having great ambition is a bad thing at all. But that desperation you describe… that’s a funny thing. It can propel us forwards, jolt us out of bed in the morning, give us an unrivalled rocket ship towards our goals powered by excitement & love. And it can just as easily turn us inwards, cut us down, leave you spiralling, stressed out that you haven’t achieved as much as you intend to. This drive you have needs to be treated with care.

How do you do that? Well, space away from it is important. Making sure it isn’t life consuming. That you have a balanced, well rounded lifestyle. So that when it’s time to knuckle down, you’re filled with energy from so many other sources. And, making sure you listen to it. If it’s pulling you towards something exciting, trust it. If it’s beating you up, take much needed space.

But, and this is important; it sounds like this drive comes from a wonderful place. You genuinely want to entertain. That’s a beautiful thing.

In this email you make a lot of assumptions about how things are going to feel for you (dream come true = good. dream not come true = failure).

I think you need to stop assuming how things are going to make you feel. There’s a lot of expectation set there, pressures, this ‘if I don’t achieve this I’ve failed’ headspace, and you can’t live in that. You are fucking nineteen! You have great freedom, and this is a blessing!

In this stage of your life you’ve gotta be running towards uncertainty with arms open wide. You just need to do what you love, find new things you love, and I hope with all my heart you end up in that lucky place where you can make a living from it.

I feel pretty out of my depth giving my thoughts to your problem with not having resources to do stuff, given I’ve been inside some weird borderline-fictional dream since age sixteen. I’ve not had to work, go to university, manage my finances. What I will say is that in whatever you (or one) creates, despite the technical quality of it… you can always sense love, effort & soul. And that goes a much longer way than however high quality your camera is.

You mention in your email; “I think that I’m not that entertaining. Which kinda sucks“.

First of all, don’t say that. You wouldn’t say that to a pal now, would you? Don’t say it to yourself. Secondly, if you aren’t, that’s no big deal! Entertainment (and the multitude of forms it comes in) is a skill to be worked on. All people, despite whatever talent does come naturally to them, have to work on these skills. Nurture them, explore their individual weaknesses & strengths. And everyone is different. You are different. You’ve just got to find out what you love to do and who you are. And that always comes from taking action… and taking time.

You also mention in your email something along the lines of; “getting to a place where I don’t have to worry about anything else.” Chasing dreams is a beautiful thing. Distractions are a beautiful thing. But please do not fall under the misconception that any of this coming true will prohibit you from worrying about anything else. Hell, in my experience, you worry quite a lot more.

Lastly, when it comes to pressure with the goals you set yourself;
You have no clue how these things will actually make you feel. You know how you think they’ll make you feel. But how they actually will? Fucking who knows!

A personal example of mine here; I was barely excited for my first tour around the UK. I viewed it as taking away from my priority, which at the time was 100% maintaining my youtube & my status on the platform. My views were going down further & further, I felt deeply stressed and like my dream was slipping out of my hands! No one told me once it comes true it can leave you again!

When I did that first tour, and stood on stage for that first time with a gathering of people, my people, in the room… it was fucking unbelievable.
These people, with their stories, individuality, excitement, passion, love… well, fucking hell, I felt more than I’ve ever felt online.

And that wasn’t my dream. It just happened.

That’s what I’m saying. You don’t know any of this until you know. So get out there, and have some fun. Because I promise you in five years time, you’ll have found twenty new things you love, and have twenty new dreams, and twenty new worries: And that’s growing up. Try not to fight it. Embrace it. (it’s fucking hard too though, but hey; fun, love & connection is the antidote to all those worries).

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK, I’m wise! I’m still sat on this flight writing this, and fucking BOOOOOOOOOOORED! I can smell the shitty plane breakfast making its way over on the trolley. Can’t wait to chow down on it and feel just fucking mediocre afterwards.

(UPDATE: In the time it took for me to do a final read through, the plane breakfast has arrived. A “Monty’s Stakehouse Cheeseburger Hotpocket”. It looks fucking awful. Welcome to the fucking United States, hey?)

Thanks for all the emails you lot, this is very exciting! Dunno how often I’ll be posting these, but possibly expect a little flurry of them if I’m sat for ages still. I don’t imagine they’ll typically be this long either, but hey ho who fuckin’ knows.

Bye bye!