Hello, hello! It’s my final day in America, I fly home later on. It’s been aweeeeesome. Had a few hours to myself to finish this one up. Let’s have at it.

I Feel Lost

I’m really concerned about my future, because I’m not sure what to do! I’m 18, finished college last year and chose not to go to Uni because I wanted to make music. I’m now torn, because I can’t afford to live on a minimum wage job in the hopes my music career will take off. So I’m considering going back to education. But that feels like giving up on my dream, something I really don’t want to ever do. I suppose it boils down to stability, security or risking that in the pursuit of fulfillment and joy. Music really makes me happy, and I like writing it, I like singing and I like playing instruments. So I’m lost.

Hey! Shit yeah, that sounds fuckin’ difficult.

Well look, it’s brilliant you have something you truly love, and an overwhelming sense of direction and purpose. This is something we all struggle with at different times in our life, so you being so focused and excited and passionate about something is wonderful to hear.

Don’t you feel shit about going back to education. It’s education, it’s fucking brilliant! You’re learning, and everything you learn will inspire your music, help it, and help you! It all flows into each other.

If you truly love it, I think your music career will come. I think you should pursue it and grab opportunities that come at you with as much excitement as you can muster. But, and I think this comes underestimated when discussing careers nowadays:

It’s all luck.

Well, not all of it. But seriously, so much more of it is than people let on. Especially in this “work hard get results” online culture we live in. Sometimes you work hard and don’t get results. Sometimes you do hardly anything and get massive results. There’s 8 billion people on this planet all doing actions that will effect everyone else, it’s unlikely that you simply manifesting something is enough. Sometimes, it’s just a bit of luck.

But, really, that’s encouraging. That’s fuckin’ exciting. Because the future is not yet written. And no one knows what’s gonna happen.

Let me put it this way: If it weren’t for covid, I wouldn’t be here. The thing that killed millions of people is the same thing that gave me my fortune and my audience. How fucked is that?

But really, if the lockdown didn’t put everyone inside, I wouldn’t have found a drive to post so obsessively, and I wouldn’t have found my audience who needed something optimistic to latch onto, and I wouldn’t have created so many of the relationships with other internet friends who are now some of my closest friends in real life.

All of this, because of something completely out of my control.

But what I do know, is say covid didn’t happen… I’d be in college, studying editing, then hopefully on to university to study it more. Right now I’d just be finishing up, in some city in England, searching for a job in a film department. Or maybe I would have gone back to volunteering with my Mum and tried to get a job there. Or maybe I would’ve found a job that gets me by, having fun in the evening off.

But, most realistically, I would’ve hopefully stumbled upon something new that I love just as much.

Either way, I’d be trying my best to be fucking happy and successful, because all success is, is creating & pursuing a goal that helps you meet your individual needs at this moment in time.

So hey, keep at your music, and keep performing it. No matter how successful you get, or what stage you’re playing, those songs are yours. But, don’t worry if how you imagine it happening doesn’t come to life in the exact way you imagine. It probably won’t! And that’s okay. As long as you’re happy mate, that’s what’s most important. You never know what will come tomorrow.

Also mate you’re fucking 18 you’re so young have a pint and go just enjoy being a musician and learning at school and having a laugh. These are some wicked times, not to be wasted on dreaming about tomorrow. Cause tomorrow will come and you’ll be dreaming about yesterday. So just fucking reeeeeeelllllax and have a sick time.

Well, that’s me. Have a good one everyone, and I’m about to have a travel day so I’ll probably put up some more posts later on. Goodbye!